Unbearable Request
by Revhead
Summary: Post Small Victories Snippet... Jack asked Daniel to kill him, and Daniel is upset... Also brief Abyss snippet, when Jack once again makes the unbearable request.


**Unbearable Request**

--Post Small Victories Snippet.--

_He asked me to kill him._

Daniel sat in his office, staring blankly at the artifacts cluttering his office. Usually even the smallest shard of pottery was enough to captivate the young archaeologist for hours, but today he was surrounded by fragments of ancient alien cultures, and none of them captured his attention in the least.

He couldn't concentrate.

Daniel sighed, lifting his glasses absently to rub at his eyes. He was tired, physically and emotionally. So much had happened recently, all starting with his appendicitis, and getting progressively worse from there. While he was stuck on base recovering from surgery, the rest of his team had been on the brink of death, battling a new terrifying enemy, and there had been nothing he could do to help them. As if that wasn't bad enough, no sooner did he have his friends back safe and sound, another crisis arose, sending Jack and Teal'c back into danger.

And Jack – Jack had asked him to give the order that would end his life.

_He asked me to kill him._

The image of his best friend falling to the ground, death imminent no matter what Daniel did, flashed before his eyes and he flinched.

_Dammit Jack,_ he thought bitterly. _How could you put me in that kind of position? Kill you, or watch you die –_ And he had done it. He'd given the order. If Sam hadn't gotten there in time... "Dammit Jack."

"Daniel?"

Daniel's head snapped up, and then he froze at the sight of Jack standing casually in the doorway. All of a sudden he was bombarded by a million and one different emotions all warring for dominance, and he was overwhelmed by the intensity of it all.

"Daaanniel?" Jack drew out his name, raising a questioning eyebrow at his lack of response.

"You're back," Daniel exhaled at last.

Jack flashed a smile. "Yep. We chatted to Thor for a little while, then he beamed us home."

Daniel wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh, scream or cry. How could Jack be acting so... indifferent? Like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, like life was the same as always?

A wry smile twitched at his lips. They faced life and death situations practically everyday, so in that regard everything _had_ been same old same old. But Jack had asked Daniel to _kill_ him...

"Daniel?" Jack said again, gently this time, his expression one of concern. "I was kinda worried when you weren't there to meet us..."

"I was busy." _I didn't know if I was ready to face you yet._ He still wasn't sure, but it didn't look like he had a choice now.

Jack frowned, taking in the blank computer screen and the lack of papers or notes on Daniel's desk – even more significantly the lone mug filled with stone cold coffee that looked like it hadn't been touched since it was brewed. "I had to brief General Hammond, or I would have been here sooner."

Daniel nodded simply without saying a word, and Jack shifted awkwardly.

"Uhh... So how's the scar?"

"It only hurts a little, and Janet says it will be better in no time," Daniel answered slowly, almost without thought.

The crease between Jack's eyebrows deepened."Are you okay?" he asked.

Daniel blinked, a flash of annoyance overruling the roar of other emotions for a brief moment. "I just said-"

"That's not what I meant," Jack interrupted.

"Oh." Daniel was half-tempted to give a classic Jack O'Neill response – _peachy_ – but the fleeting thought of humour was quickly drowned out by anger. "What do you want me to say, Jack?" he snapped. "That I'm fine? Well I'm not! You asked me to kill you, for God's sake!"

Jack was shocked into silence by the unexpected outburst from the younger man, and then hesitantly tried to explain. "Those bugs would have eaten us alive, Daniel. Both Teal'c and I would prefer being blown up-"

"You would prefer it if I had to carry around the guilt of killing you for the rest of my life!?" Daniel practically yelled, not caring that his voice was loud enough to be heard along the corridor.

Jack winced. "Look, Daniel – I'm sorry. I guess I was being selfish..."

Daniel's anger at Jack deflated, even more so when he saw Jack unconsciously finger a jagged gash at the base of his neck that hadn't been there before. There were numerous others on his arms as well, and Daniel had to look away, nausea rising in his throat as once more images of Jack being overrun by the replicators flashed before him. "God, Jack," he whispered.

Jack dropped his hand. "Sorry, Daniel," he repeated quietly. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

Daniel glanced at his friend, remembering how Jack had reached for the camera, intending to turn it off before Daniel had to watch him die. And then, too, he remembered how Jack had tried to pass the responsibility of launching the torpedoes to Davis, knowing how hard it would be for his best friend.

And Daniel had yelled at him.

He stared down at his shoes, ashamed of himself. "No, I'm sorry. I was being unfair. It's just..." He struggled for the words that were never spoken out loud – how he couldn't bear the thought of Jack dying, how much he needed him, how hard it would have been to go on without him.

Jack stepped forward and put a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "I know," he said quietly, and gently pulled the younger man into an embrace. "I'm here."

Daniel sucked in a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm his emotions, focusing on the fact that Jack was safe, he was here, and for now everything was all right. He tentatively returned the hug, and then pulled away, blue orbs meeting dark brown ones. "Just... don't ask me to - to do that again. Okay?"

There was a pause before Jack's reply, full of meaning and reluctance, but Daniel didn't notice it. "Sure." Jack patted the archeologist's shoulder, then gestured to the doorway. "I was thinking of grabbing beer and some pizza... Movies at my place? Teal'c expressed an interest in watching Starwars..." He offered a cheerful grimace.

Daniel smiled, the heavy weight of his thoughts and their conversation lifting. "Sounds fun."

OOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOO

--Years Later, Set During Abyss.--

It turned out that being ascended didn't mean you were above human emotions. Daniel was angry, and upset. He couldn't, wouldn't show it, but he was. Jack had asked him _again_. And this time it wasn't a spur of the moment request, where Jack was minutes from death no matter what, and he was looking for a less painful way to go. It was a deliberate choice to end it right now, to never come back. To leave Daniel alone for an eternity, grieving the loss of a friend, overwhelmed by the guilt of killing one of the people who meant the most to him.

Daniel understood the reasons. Jack was in pain. He was being tortured to death again and again, forced to relive the nightmare. And Jack lived by touching and feeling his world. He didn't want enlightenment, he wanted peace, an end to the pain. For Jack, the rules imposed by Oma, and the others, would be another form of torment. Ascension was not a Jack O'Neill thing, no matter his relation to the Ancients.

And yet Daniel... He couldn't. "I won't do it."

Jack was angry now, but Daniel had had to make that decision once before, and it had nearly broken him. He couldn't do it. Not again.

He knew he could be losing Jack's friendship, but it was better than losing him all together.

At least, that's what Daniel tried to tell himself.


End file.
